以下是的一些我们精选的经典英文搞笑句子
1、姐从来不抄袭，但没说不复制。Sister never copied, but did not say not copy.
2、种草不让人去躺，不如改种仙人掌！It"s better to plant cactus instead of letting people lie down.
3、哪里跌倒，哪里爬起。老是在那里跌倒，我怀疑那里有个坑！Where to fall, where to climb. I always fall there. I suspect there"s a pit there!
4、我心眼儿有些小，但是不缺；我脾气很好，但不是没有！I he a small mind, but I don"t lack it; I he a good temper, but not none!
5、瞧你这长相，不用化妆就能去演片了。Look at your appearance. You can make horror movies without makeup.
6、你还是让我跪搓板吧，跪电暖气是在受不了啊。You"d better let me kneel on the rubbing board. The kneeling heating can"t stand it.
7、老子不打你，你就不知道我文武双全。If Lao Zi does not hit you, you will not know that I am both civil and military.
8、天上不会掉馅饼，因为我们不相信。There will be no pie in the sky, because we don"t believe it.
9、人和猪的区别就是：猪一直是猪，而人有时却不是人！The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, but sometimes people are not human beings.
10、傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。Whether you are silly or not depends on whether you act silly or not.
11、人又不聪明，还学人家秃顶！People are not smart, they are bald!
12、人家减肥减腰减屁股，为什么你非要从脑细胞开始。Why do you he to start with brain cells when people lose weight, waist and buttocks?
13、再丑的人也能结婚、再美的人也有单身。The ugliest man can marry and the most beautiful man can be single.
14、别打开礼物的缎带，最初充满期待，最后都。Don"t open the ribbons of gifts. They are full of expectations at first and corrupt at last.
15、路漫漫其修远兮，不如我们去打的。It"s a long way to go, so it"s better for us to take a taxi.
16、早上刚一起床，就有一股睡午觉的冲动。As soon as I get up in the morning, I he an impulse to take a nap.
17、没用的东西，再便宜也不买；不爱的人，再寂寞也不依赖。Useless things, no cheaper to buy; people who do not love, no longer lonely and dependent.
18、拍脑袋决策，拍胸脯保证，拍屁股走人。Pat your head, pat your chest, pat your butt and walk away.
19、如果这都不算爱，那我宁愿卖白菜。If this is not love, then I would rather sell cabbage.
经典英文搞笑句子
20、人家有的是背景，而我有的只是背影。People he backgrounds, and I he only backgrounds.
21、黑夜给了我一双黑色的眼睛，可我却用它来翻白眼。Night gives me a pair of black eyes, but I use it to turn my eyes white.
22、你太矮了！借你望远镜吧，再看清楚点，我不帅吗？
You are too short! Lend your telescope and see clearly. Am I not handsome?
23、您复杂的五官，掩饰不了您朴素的智商。Your complex features can"t hide your simple IQ.
24、我要做个下载软件，名字叫掩耳。因为迅雷不及掩耳。I"m going to make a download software, its name is Hidden Ear. Because the thunder is too fast to cover up.
25、将薪比薪想一下，算了，不想活了。Think about the salary ratio. Forget it. I don"t want to live.
26、每次临时抱佛脚的时候，佛总是给我一脚。Every time I hold Buddha"s feet temporarily, Buddha always gives me a foot.
27、男人的实力，就是你兜里的人民币。The strength of a man is the RMB in your pocket.
28、泼出去的水，老子连盆子都不要了。
Lao Tzu didn"t even need the pot when the water spilled out.
29、我说这位壮士，你在我伤口上撒完盐，就别再尝尝咸淡了吧。I said to this warrior, if you spill salt on my wound, don"t taste salty again.
30、把你家的地址说出来，我要把它改成公共厕所。Give me your address and I"ll change it into a public toilet.
31、吃什么鱿鱼丝、墨鱼丝的，给我上点美人鱼丝。What squid and cuttlefish to eat?
Give me some Mermaid shredded.
32、千万别混日子，当心日子把你给混了。Don"t muddle through your life. Be careful that you are muddled by it.
33、竟然有人我涂了蓝眼影，那简直是在侮辱我得黑眼圈！I even painted blue eye shadow, which is insulting me to get dark circles.
34、我是你的风筝，线在你手上，可陪伴我的只有风。I am your kite, the thread is in your hand, but only the wind can accompany me.
35、失败是成功她后妈，看见孩子老失败也不帮她！Failure is success. Her stepmother doesn"t help her when she sees her child failing.
36、走自己的路，让别人打车去吧！Go your own way and let others take a taxi.
37、抽，是一种生活艺术；找抽，是一种生活态度。Smoking is a kind of art of life; looking for smoking is a kind of attitude towards life.
38、晚上想想千条路，早上起来走原路。Think of a thousand roads in the evening and get up in the morning and walk the same way.
39、如果我死了，我的第一句话是：终于不用怕鬼了。
If I die, my first sentence is: Finally, don"t be afraid of ghosts.
经典英文搞笑句子
40、照相是要抢时机的，刻意的永远不会好。Photography is to seize the opportunity, deliberately will never be good.
41、人生就像卫生纸，没事的时候，尽量少扯！Life is like toilet paper. When it"s OK, talk as little as possible!
42、上帝说要有光，我说我反对，于是，世界上有了黑暗。
God said there should be light, I said I opposed, so there is darkness in the world.
43、你就是我心中的那首忐忑，总是让我惊心动魄。You"re the one in my heart that always thrills me.
44、如果回帖是一种美德，那我早就成为圣人了。If the reply was a virtue, I would he been a saint.
45、先别鄙视我，给你个号码牌，先排队，到你的时候再鄙视。
Don"t despise me first. Give you a number plate. Line up first. Then despise me when you arrive.
46、喝白酒一斤，我绝对没感觉，因为喝半斤就已经喝死了。Drinking a kilo of liquor, I absolutely do not feel, because half a kilo has been drunk to death.
47、作为一个吃货，吃东西并不代表我饿了，只是因为嘴巴寂寞了。
As a food, eating doesn"t mean I"m hungry, just because my mouth is lonely.
48、有一种爱叫放手，手放开后，请你快走。There is a kind of love called let go, let go, please go quickly.
49、别惹我，否则我会让你死得很有节奏感。Don"t mess with me, or I"ll let you die rhythmically.
50、人人都说我丑，其实我只是美得不明显。
Everyone says I"m ugly, but I"m just not so beautiful.
51、众里寻他千百度，没病你就走两步。Look for him in the crowd, you can take two steps if you are not sick.
52、不想叛师的徒弟，都是不成才的徒弟。The disciples who do not want to betray their teachers are all unsuccesul disciples.
53、就你这个样子，这个年龄，已经跌破发行价了。
In your case, at this age, the issue price has fallen below.
54、扔，正面就去上网，反面就是睡觉，立起来就去写作业。Throw a coin, go online on the front, sleep on the contrary, and do your homework when you stand up.
55、别再逼我，再逼，我就在地上划个圈圈咒诅你被丑女强吻！Stop pushing me, push me again, I will draw a circle on the ground and curse you for being forced to kiss by the ugly girl!
56、穷耐克，富阿迪，流氓一身阿玛尼。Poor Nike, Fuadi, a hooligan Armani.
57、烧香的不一定是和尚，还可能是熊猫！Burning incense is not necessarily a monk, but also a panda!
58、说了晚安去睡的人、往往半小时以后还在得瑟。People who say good night to sleep often stay in Desser half an hour later.
59、没有女人的日子里，我以调戏男人为乐。
In the days without women, I enjoy playing tricks on men.
经典英文搞笑句子
60、从天堂到地狱，哥只是路过人间。From heen to hell, brother just passes through the world.最新经典英文搞笑句子可以看看这篇名叫32条经典搞笑句子：你来的太及时了，刚才我忘带纸了。的文章，可能你会获得更多经典英文搞笑句子
1、老婆做饭很难吃，不过却很喜欢做，一天我受不了问道：“为什么你这么喜欢做饭？”老婆开口说：“人家都说想得到一个人就要得到那个人的胃呀。”我说：“那你为什么做得那么难吃。”老婆一听怒了一拍桌子：“我得不到的，我宁愿毁了它！”
2、男女二人骑双人自行车外出郊游。两人吃力而艰难地爬上一个大坡后，男友一边喘气一边说道：“这，这个坡可真陡，真难爬，累死我了！”女友附和道：“可不是吗，要不是我一直紧捏着刹车，咱们早滑下去了。”
3、老公：“我失眠。”老婆：“我也失眠。”老公：“一只羊、两只羊、三只羊……”老婆：“一件貂皮大衣、两件貂皮大衣、三件貂皮大衣……”语录网
4、今天师傅来装空调，我一再提醒他小心，安全第一。他说：＂看你年纪不大还挺谨慎嘛，放心出了事绝不找你麻烦！＂刚说完就从阳台上滑下来一下坐在我养了5年的仙人球上，那一刻十五层的声控灯全亮拉。
5、领结婚证那天，到照相环节了，我们前面一对先照，先给男的照后给女的照，轮到我们俩，我就对我老婆说，你先吧。老婆说，还是你先吧！照相的默默地来了句，你们俩要一块照，前面那对是离婚的……
6、在电梯里放了一个闷屁，我喊了声“什么东西糊了”，于是一电梯的人把我的屁吸干净了。
7、甲：你咋还没嫁人呢？ 乙：没人要呀！ 甲：是你要求太高了吧？ 乙：没有啊，我从来不在乎人家的长相和年龄！ 甲：那你认为我怎么样？ 乙：可以呀，先回答我一个问题好么？ 甲：就一个问题？好啊！ 乙：你有车有房有存款有城市户口有文凭有公司有海外亲戚有.......吗？ 甲：别问了，我也不要了！
8、哈根达斯冰淇淋店里，服务员端来一杯柠檬水，问：“先生，要吃点什么？”我喝了口水，打开菜单翻看着，抬头问她：“有刀削面吗？”她先是一脸诧异，然后不客气地说：“这里不是山西面馆！”我忙堆笑说：“不好意思，进错店了。”说完走了出来，感觉没有刚才那么渴了。
9、本人花痴女纸一枚，有一男同事，已经有孩子了，身材还是超好。今天上班脱外套的时候，看着他那让人流口水的身材，忽然犯二了，脑残的问了一句“XX，你都生过小孩了，身材怎么还这么好，怎么恢复的”。然后同事满脸黑线的说“孩子是我老婆生的。。”果断回避，只听身后一片欢声笑语传来啊。
10、法庭上夫妻争夺孩子的扶养权，互相攻击对方：“你除了喝酒就是耍钱，孩子跟着你能学好么？”“你还不是除了跳舞就是搓麻……”法官争取孩子的意见，孩子天真地说：“让他俩剪子包袱锤，谁赢了我跟谁！”
11、我大学时认识一位女同学天天让我打水，后来我发现他有男盆友，我问她你有男盆友为啥让我帮你打水，她说是为了让她男盆友休息一下！ 我听后二话不说拉着她就宿舍就啪……啪……啪。完事后她哭着问我为什么这样对她？我说我是为了让你男盆友休息一下。我这样做得对不对？
12、年底了，最近楼道抢劫的多，要注意安全！ 特别女孩子，现在社会人们都比较冷漠，你要半夜在楼道里遇到坏人，千万不要喊“救命啊！抢劫啊！” 不一定有人出来帮你。你就喊 “着火了！着火了！ 整楼的人都能出来……切记！切记！
13、饭馆服务员刚才告诉我，隔壁桌的老夫妇是老顾客了， 从很多年前小饭馆刚开业，夫妇二人就经常过来， 每次都打包一两个菜带走，数十年如一日从未间断。 我听了很受触动，没想到一对老夫妇能相濡以沫的恩爱几十年， 竟然还是不会做饭。
14、有人说，希望每个人死后尸体都能自动变成一本书，书的内容就是死者的生平。这样一来，有人成了名著，有人成了禁 书，有人变成菜谱，有人变成地图，有人是photoshop使用手册，有人是小旅馆的开房登记簿…..整个世界就是一个巨大的图书馆，我们读着别人，做着自己，等着被读。你觉得自己会是什么书？
15、聚餐时，朋友带来了未婚妻，很漂亮一妹子，想着该说点恭维话，脑子一抽冒出句：你长得跟整过容似的！结果那女孩特谦虚，不停地说“我这么难看，怎么可能是整过容的啦！”“整过的话还会是现在这种鬼样子哦！”……我脑子又一抽，顺着她的思路说：那就是整坏了
经典英文搞笑句子